Lookie I actually wrote something short! For the Klaine Advent Drabble Challenge prompt: “jigsaw.” Rated R for bachelor party shenanigans. ~450 words.
Even though “Come What May” is their wedding duet, the main theme of the reception is borrowed from “Teenage Dream.” Kurt and Blaine spend many satisfying weekends crafting wine-glass trinkets, napkin holders, name cards and centerpieces from pieces from old puzzles they picked up at the thrift store down the street. They appliqué fabric puzzle pieces onto table runners and banners. They find puzzle-piece-shaped platters for the caterer to use.
For a few weeks they go back and forth about whether it’s too vain to get custom-made puzzles of their engagement photo to give as wedding favors until one day, during yet another circular conversation on the topic, they realize that all of their friends already know they’re vain and love them anyway, so of course it’s okay.
Kurt declares that they need to draw the line at carrying the theme over into the actual food items – but then Blaine comes home with a set of interlocking puzzle-piece cookie cutters and soon Kurt can’t stop adding to the list of foods that could be cut into puzzle shapes.
But the idea they’re most proud of involves borrowing a table top jigsaw from the props department to cut out large wooden puzzle pieces that they decoupage with pictures of friends and family to hang in the reception hall. The pièce de résistance is that the pieces actually join together. After the wedding, they’ll snap them all together and use it to cover the chipped brick wall of their living room.
Sam gets his own inspiration when he sees the jigsaw out on their balcony. He offers to return it for them when they’re done with it.
“Sam!” Blaine beams. “You’re the greatest best man ever.”
Sam doesn’t return it immediately. He takes it over to Elliot’s place, swears him to secrecy, and begins his work of art.
It’s unveiled at the bachelor party: dozens of naked wooden Kurts and Blaines that come in interlocking pairs.
Sam is very proud of his work. The pairs are very lifelike and true to the men that they portray – although he apologizes for making their erect penises look exactly the same; it was the simplest way to go since he’d never actually seen them in action.
Kurt is flummoxed.
The identical penis thing gives Puck an idea. He spends most of the evening breaking the pairs apart and rearranging the pieces into new compromising positions. He can’t decide if he likes the one where Blaine is fucking himself the best, or the one where Kurt is giving himself a blowjob.
Blaine giggles until 3 a.m.
Kurt doesn’t admit it to Blaine for months – but honestly? It’s his favorite wedding gift of all.